Monthly Archives: March 2013

29Mar/13

What They Didn’t Tell Us About Parenting.

Does it sometimes feel like you are the only person who struggles with the whole parenthood thing?  Why don’t our miraculous ‘bundles of joy’ bring us the happiness we thought they would?  Why don’t other parents talk about how hard it is?

Rufus Griscom and Alisa Volkman felt the same way.  Below is their funny and honest TED Talk which ‘exposes 4 facts that parents never, ever admit — and why they should.’

I watched this about 18 months ago and after the laughter, let out a huge sigh of relief that someone else was talking about these things that I wanted parents to talk about.

Enjoy, and let me know what you think by commenting below.

Many Thanks,

Thea

http://ted.com/talks/view/id/1036
22Mar/13

The Power of Vulnerability

TED Talk:  The Power of Vulnerability – Brene Brown

http://ted.com/talks/view/id/1042

This was the first TED Talk I watched.  It blew me away.  Not only is it funny and entertaining, Brene’s message is urgent and powerful for all of us.

Please comment below about what you thought and how you reacted to her talk.

Many Thanks,

Thea

15Mar/13

Do You Love New Ideas and Inspiration?

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If so…you need to know about TED.

about_ted

TED is a nonprofit organisation devoted to Ideas Worth Spreading. It started out, in 1984, as a conference bringing together people from three worlds:  Technology, Entertainment, Design.  Since then its scope has become ever broader, and covers almost any topic imaginable.

The goal of the foundation is to foster the spread of great ideas. It aims to provide a platform for the world’s smartest thinkers, greatest visionaries and most-inspiring teachers, so that millions of people can gain a better understanding of the biggest issues faced by the world, and a desire to help create a better future. Core to this goal is a belief that there is no greater force for changing the world than a powerful idea.

The two annual TED conferences, on the North American West Coast and in Edinburgh, Scotland, bring together the world’s most fascinating thinkers and doers, who are challenged to give the talk of their lives (in 18 minutes or less).  These talks are then shared online at the TED website and watched by millions.

I love watching TED Talks, often when I’m doing housework or cooking dinner.  Some of them are funny, some make me think ‘Wow!’, others are thought provoking, and some really have changed my life.

Every Friday I will select a TED talk that I think will inspire, motivate and educate us all, and post it here.  I hope you enjoy them and share them with your friends if you do.

All the best,

Thea

http:www.ted.com/talks

14Mar/13

I’m in Charge!

Do you ever say this to your children?

I'm in charge

Most of us grew up being told  ‘Because I said so!’  either in words, or in the tone and meaning behind the command.  I knew my parents – especially my Dad – were in charge.  Yes, I had arguments with him in my teens, where I tried to explain my point of view but in the end, what he said was adhered to most of the time by my brothers and I.

Over the last year or so, I’ve resorted to telling my children (sometimes in a loud voice, otherwise known as shouting)  explicitly that ‘I’m in charge.’   I tell them that they can talk about decisions and rules they don’t like with me at another appropriate time, but when I tell them to do something, they have to do it – because I’m in charge. It’s my job to look after them, and I know best, so do as I say. Now!

A few short years ago, I would have been shocked that I would ever use this approach.  I was all for explaining the situation, discussing their fears, opinions and emotions, taking their imput into family rules and decisions.  I still am.  But at the right time.  I’ve come to realise that at some moments (sibling arguments, doing chores, stressful, busy or dangerous situations, for example) talking and explaining are not appropriate.  Clear instructions and discipline is.

I don’t enjoy it. It feels wrong.  It upsets them, and it upsets me.  It makes me feel like a heartless dictator.  But just because something is hard and uncomfortable, doesn’t mean it’s wrong.  So often the doing the ‘right’ thing is also the harder option.  Kids need boundaries and strong parents, and I believe within a loving, supportive and emotionally intelligent family, blind obedience is appropriate at some times. (Well I believe it mostly – part of me still questions that if I was a better parent would I need to do this?)

So anyway, I’m writing about this because I used this phrase this morning.  I’m tired and jetlagged and I probably went from zero to 60 too quickly, and I probably shouted to loudly and rudely, so there is a sour taste in my mouth.  I don’t feel good about it. I need to remember to be calmer next time.  But overall, I think it is something that my kids need to understand, and be reminded of occassionally.

What do you think?  Please comment below.