As I mentioned in my last post, my youngest son frequently thinks that the rest of the family hate him. Somehow he has come to believe that whenever someone is mean to him, tells him off or even disagrees with him, then that must mean they hate him. And not just hate him in that moment, but pretty much forever.
To combat this I talked to my eldest children (aged 8 and 1o) about showing more love to Zach, especially when he is being grumpy and mean, and to spend the next 4 to 6 weeks trying to change this belief of his. My daughter suggested we make a poster for him telling him how much we love him and making him feel more part of the family. So we did, and below is our creation. It has lots of photos of Zach with us and some of his friends, and a letter from each of us telling him what we love about him.
It was a lovely moment when Harvey and Jasmine presented Zach with his poster, going through all the letters and photos and explaining what we had done. The look of pride and amazement on his face was wonderful to see. It really touched him.
The next morning he came into my bed at about 6.40 asking to go downstairs. When I asked him why, he said he wanted to go and look at his poster. So I got up with him and we spent a good ten minutes looking at the poster, reading the letters and choosing our favourite photos. It was clear how much this meant to him, and how much better it made him feel. Later that day we put it in a picture frame and put it on his bedroom wall. He is very happy with it, and maybe one step closer to believing we love him all the time, no matter what, with no conditions attached.