A couple of weeks ago – after the Easter choc-fest – my husband and I started a healthy eating and fitness drive. We’d both picked up some bad snacking habits, were too used to big portions at our evening meal and not doing much exercise. We’re both busy – he works long hours in London, while I work long hours juggling house, family and my own work. Healthy eating and exercise keep getting pushed down the priority list, so now, we decided, was the time to focus on them for a few weeks to kickstart a healthier lifestyle and to establish some better eating and fitness habits.
In 12 days I lost 5lbs and my husband lost…well we don’t know yet because the scales ran out of battery. He has lost some, and knowing him (he’s strict with what he eats when he’s decided to) he’ll lose more than me. So what did we do and how did we do it? Every day this week I will discuss one of the tactics we used to change the way we eat and get fit.
First though, why are we doing it? Because like everyone we know the benefits of healthy eating and regular exercise but don’t practice what we believe. We wanted to start living with more integrity as well as more energy and vitality and less toxins and weight. But also, exercise is often cited by positive psychologists as one of the key daily habits that happy people commit to. And who doesn’t want to be happy?
So for us, making exercise a priority and a regular habit is what we were aiming for, while also being more mindful about what we put into our mouths. We had got used to not doing it, and wanted to get used to doing it.
Do you ever think you’ll feel better when…you’ve lost weight? written that book? earnt more money? got your dream job?
Ever wondered why you feel like this?
It’s because you don’t feel worthy enough already. Yes, Worthy Enough. Do you think you are worthy enough already?
When I considered this question recently, my first thought was: ‘Of course I think I’m worthy enough already.’ My confidence and self-esteem goes up and down but generally I’ve always had a decent enough regard for myself. It didn’t seem that feeling worthy enough was a problem for me. Not having enough time to get all the things I wanted to get done seemed to be my problem.
I’d been reading ‘The Gifts of Imperfection‘ by Brene Brown and as I read on, I realised that perhaps I didn’t think I was as worthy as I thought I did. I began to ask myself the following questions:
- If I believe I am worthy enough already why do I feel that my day is only successful if I ‘achieve’ things each day?
- If I believe I am worthy enough already why do I feel I need to prove to people that I can be a successful businesswoman / coach / writer, not to mention a perfect mum?
- If I believe I am worthy enough already why do I feel I have ‘failed’ at so many things?
- If I believe I am worthy enough already why am I constantly striving to change myself?
- If I believe I am worthy enough already why am I worried about what other people think of me?
Brown claims that the difference between people who live a wholehearted life (i.e. people who are truly happy) and those who don’t is their belief that they are enough, already. In other words they don’t have to prove anything. Instead they are brave and open and vulnerable and connected and they believe they are worthy. She says:
“Here’s what’s truly at the heart of Wholeheartedness: Worthy now. Not if. Not when. We are worthy of love and belonging now. Right this minute. As is.”
Now I might be putting myself out on a limb here but that hit me hard. I realised for probably the first time in my life that perhaps this constant striving to improve myself and my life weren’t admirable qualities with a hint of perfectionism, but actually signs that I don’t think I am worth enough as I am. Do I think I have to change myself to be worthy? Perhaps the reason that I never have enough time to do all the things I want to get done is because I want to prove too much?
What do you think? Can you relate to this idea? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. Please comment below. I want to know if it’s just me…
p.s. I know the photo at the top is too dark, but I’m fighting my perfectionist urges to redo it because I have lots of other stuff to do. I am trying to be brave and allow myself (and my post) to be imperfect.