My youngest son started a local nursery today so I have had this morning to Get Stuff Done. And I did; a very nice Geek on Wheels came to sort out my PC problems, I stocked up a fortnight’s meat from the butcher, made spag bol and cottage pie, did the normal washing, hanging out, folding, putting away of clothes, actually did my weekly planning rather than just thinking about it, and even picked up some extra kids from school as a favour. So all was well, I was feeling rather pleased with myself, and in control of my life. I wasn’t getting annoyed with lots of whinging from my five year old, or five pairs of shoes being thrown across the hall when we got back. Then something unexpected happened.
Son 1 and daughter had a minor (and it was quite minor) argument about who was going to sit where at tea time. Son 1 had a teensy strop and wouldn’t sit down at the table. In the sliding scale of arguments that my children have on a day to day basis, this was a small blip. A trifle. After my wonderful ‘I’m In Control’ day, I was expecting some light hearted banter from myself and the issue would be sorted. But suddenly before I knew what was happening, I threatened Son 1 that if he didn’t sit down I’d throw his tea in the bin. Son1 said “I’d rather go hungry”. So quick as flash, I took his plate and smashed it into the bin. What was I thinking? What happened? Why did I do that?
Ok, I’d expect this at the end of an annoying, frettful day of childcare and child management, but really that was not the case today. Actually, I’ve never thrown anyone’s food in the bin before, despite it being a favourite threat of mine. Why did it happen today?
I suppose I’ve just got to see the funny side and laugh at myself. But it’s just a bit disappointing after a day of feeling my life was running smoothly that I can’t control my impulses a bit more. Especially when my children would get punishments for the same kind of behaviour. Maybe I should have my own star chart, where they grade me on how I’ve managed my temper each day. They’d really enjoy that.