Do you ever think you’ll feel better when…you’ve lost weight? written that book? earnt more money? got your dream job?
Ever wondered why you feel like this?
It’s because you don’t feel worthy enough already. Yes, Worthy Enough. Do you think you are worthy enough already?
When I considered this question recently, my first thought was: ‘Of course I think I’m worthy enough already.’ My confidence and self-esteem goes up and down but generally I’ve always had a decent enough regard for myself. It didn’t seem that feeling worthy enough was a problem for me. Not having enough time to get all the things I wanted to get done seemed to be my problem.
I’d been reading ‘The Gifts of Imperfection‘ by Brene Brown and as I read on, I realised that perhaps I didn’t think I was as worthy as I thought I did. I began to ask myself the following questions:
- If I believe I am worthy enough already why do I feel that my day is only successful if I ‘achieve’ things each day?
- If I believe I am worthy enough already why do I feel I need to prove to people that I can be a successful businesswoman / coach / writer, not to mention a perfect mum?
- If I believe I am worthy enough already why do I feel I have ‘failed’ at so many things?
- If I believe I am worthy enough already why am I constantly striving to change myself?
- If I believe I am worthy enough already why am I worried about what other people think of me?
Brown claims that the difference between people who live a wholehearted life (i.e. people who are truly happy) and those who don’t is their belief that they are enough, already. In other words they don’t have to prove anything. Instead they are brave and open and vulnerable and connected and they believe they are worthy. She says:
“Here’s what’s truly at the heart of Wholeheartedness: Worthy now. Not if. Not when. We are worthy of love and belonging now. Right this minute. As is.”
Now I might be putting myself out on a limb here but that hit me hard. I realised for probably the first time in my life that perhaps this constant striving to improve myself and my life weren’t admirable qualities with a hint of perfectionism, but actually signs that I don’t think I am worth enough as I am. Do I think I have to change myself to be worthy? Perhaps the reason that I never have enough time to do all the things I want to get done is because I want to prove too much?
What do you think? Can you relate to this idea? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. Please comment below. I want to know if it’s just me…
p.s. I know the photo at the top is too dark, but I’m fighting my perfectionist urges to redo it because I have lots of other stuff to do. I am trying to be brave and allow myself (and my post) to be imperfect.